Intercultural behaviour

One of which I can remember very well is an incident that happened while i was on exchange.

Background: I was introduced to a guy S by my room mate. He appeared to be a very friendly person but a man of few words.

Incident: One day I was rushing to my next class which was on the other side of the town. To get there I had to take a shuttle bus. (Similar to taking the shuttle bus to Bukit Timah campus). It was then that I bumped into S. Since I was in a rush it took me a couple of seconds to recognize him. I smiled widely at him, but at the same time I wondered how I am to greet him.
A hug (common among my Srilankan friends), a formal handshake, a casual high five or a handshake along with cheek kisses (which is very common among Quebecois)?
Meanwhile, he had put his hand forward as a gesture for the Quebecois handshake but, I stood there wondering. This moment of pause resulted in awkwardness and before I can return the gesture he withdrew his hand in embarrassment.Soon the awkwardness passed as he introduced his nearby friend, then we exchanged a few kind words and finally I politely excused myself to leave. To prevent another moment of awkwardness he hastily brought his fist forward now as a good bye gesture known as "Fist bump". Returning this gesture I left the place.

Consequence: A few days later I met my room mate at a dinner and S had turned up as well. However, as I was seated far away I never got the chance to talk to him. But I did notice that he seemed quite distant, less friendly I would say. I smiled at him but his return smile looked like he had forced it upon his face for courtesy. I questioned myself as to why he would suddenly be hostile towards me. I kept thinking it over and over and I finally resolved to discussing with my room mate.

I mentioned this to my room mate after dinner and she exclaimed that he had mentioned something about my last meeting with him but, was unaware of the details.

What do you think went wrong? How do you think I should tackle this situation?

My interpretation
I believe that it was the greeting incident and in particular that moment of pause, had given S some negative feelings. He could have felt less respected esp when his greeting gesture wasn't returned. In addition, the fact that this incident happened infront of one of his friends could have made matters worse. His friend could have made fun of him and this could have escalated the negative feelings towards me.

I also believe that this incident rose due to the difference in our cultural background. In my home country after the first meeting no two people continue with formal gestures and when they become good friends the gesture shifts to friendly hug (between male and female or female and female).However, in Montreal it is a usual custom to greet each other in the Quebecois way.

Tug of War

Characters: Individuals J and S

Background: Individual J was the coordinator of the Indian dancing committee. During a performance she was unofficially in charge of catering food for the performers. However, she wasn't happy with the task for many reasons but, with a smile on her face she completed the task. During the review of the performance she informed the other members the challenges she faced and the reasons for not wanting to take charge of catering in future. The management found her explanation reasonable and agreed to it.
Another individual S, was the treasurer at that time. An year later a new president was elected. S took over while J became the marketing director.

Incident: Few days before the performance J bumped into S. S ended up telling (more like instructing) J that she needed to cater food for the performers. J on the other hand had enough work from her position as marketing director plus she had school assignments due the next day. J was also taken back that S did not inform her during the meeting for the concert, did not send a mail or even personally meet her but informs her only when they accidentally bump into each other. J was now irritated with all this and she tried to back off from this task without giving the actual reason.
"I'm sorry S but I am already lagging behind in my school work. I am going to do an assignment now with her".

It was too late S had a disapproving tone in her voice. " Everyone has work, J! We just have 3 more days for the concert."
J argued that it was not part of her job as the marketing director and, continued to say that there were not 1 but 2 coordinators now to take over and share the task.
S, very irritated, said in a sharp tone that she was the president and that everyone (Committee members) had to listen to her.
J got mad at this and the conversation soon became a heated argument.
Realizing that there was no point in talking sense to S, J gave her one final NO and briskly walked away.

Feelings of J:
J now felt that she was mistreated because her wishes were disregarded. As she pondered over the matter she found more reasons to get angry with S.
She had informed the management earlier about her dislike and they, S included, had agreed.
She also felt that this was no way to let her know about her sudden additional duty.
Being the president doesn't allow S to force things upon the committee members.
Finally, when there were alternatives she wondered why she was approached by S. She thought to herself that she never got a reason from S why the coordinators couldn't do it.

Feelings of S:
She was angry that J had disregarded her request. She thought that J was unnecessarily stubborn over a petty issue.
She appeared determined to make sure that J did her work.
The situation now had turned into a competition as to who gets to have it their way.

But do you think there is a side that J has missed to see in S? How do you think they can resolve this?

edited 07 Feb 2009

Dear English...We Miss You...

So here is the blog post that I promised. Thanks to "Random mouth theorist" I found this post very entertaining and for his kindness in sharing this post.

Dear English...We Miss You...


"Yo, wt u up2 ds dys m doin fyne gtngalng k. stdyn n wrkn @ é sm tym i mzz al d odr ppl hu v wr n cls with hw r dey doin.gd i hpe. lol."

So...that is an example of the text messages I get from friends. Well, thats an interesting use of the language, to say the least. I've heard of short-hand but this really takes the cake. I mean, seriously, what on earth is wrong with people nowadays. I have nothing against writing in short-hand or in shortened form, i do so myself. But stuff like this really gets under my skin. So many people all over the place suffer from what I like to call, SVDS (Severe Vowel Deficiency Syndrome). I mean seriously, whats so wrong with vowels? Trust me, once you get to know them, they're actually nice people, vowels. All they really want is to be accepted.

Another thing is IMspeak, where one tends to use those magnificent abbreviations coined by the great elder ones of MSN Messenger...Oh wait, I apologize, Its WindowsLive™Messenger now. Ok, so i guess I cant really come down on abbreviations like LoL (laugh out loud), RoFL (Rolling on the Floor Laughing), LMAO (Laughing my ass off) and LMFAO (basically LMAO plus one extra word that starts with an 'F', the difference being that LMFAO is probably more, well, intense? Maybe? But man, you need a dictionary to understand the myriad of IMspeak terms out there.

Oh yeah, what about those words that are spelled wrong for no apparent reason. What comes to mind is a very good friend of mine, salt of the earth and all but for some reason he spells cool as 'kewl'. (If you're reading this I apologize, but at least I didn't mention your name.) This problem I've noticed all over the place. Why, whats wrong with cool? It consists of four letters, and so is kewl. So whats the reason for using 'kewl'. I've noticed so many people go around misspelling words, deliberately. And I can't for the life of me fathom why.

Oh well, this is just what I think. I do shorten-words occasionally but not to the level where whoever it is that I'm talking to needs some sort of complex high-level decoder to try and figure out what the hell it is I'm trying to say. So many times, all such messages to me, have ended up with me replying with 'Huh?' and then the person having to then re-explain the message to me, simply cause I can't figure out some word or phrase or sentence in the message. Oh well, to try and find something positive, at least it gives my mind a workout. Move over sudoku, get lost chess, here comes freestyle SMSUnderstand™®.

Personally I think that everybody should just get back to using good, normal COMPLETE English. With out screwing around with grammar, spelling and punctuation. I.e. when it comes to using the English language, use it properly and in the right context and stop being so fewlish...


(p.s. for those scratching their heads over the picture at the start of the post. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sic )

“Communication is not only the essence of being human, but also a vital property of life.” -John A. Piece

The baby was agitated for sometime now and began to cry. But, as her mother held her precious child to her chest, the single touch of her hand and the sound of her heart beat silenced the baby's cry.

Isn’t this a simple case of effective communication at its best? The baby is nothing but a new born child. Yet, somehow the need to communicate was incorporated into its mind. I believe communication is an innate ability in everyone which requires some effort to be enhanced. How else would a new born baby know to cry at discomfort and laugh at happiness?

Effective communication, as I would say, is important not only to convey feelings, emotions and attitudes, but also to understand and to be understood by others.Communication has earned more recognition with the shift of the world towards technology and globalization. As more and more people venture out from their comforts of home they meet people belonging to different background, cultures and values.

For instance, when we consider the ethnic conflict in Srilanka, what baffles most people is how similar both the majority and the minorities are. We are of the same skin color, similar facial features, we have similar languages with common phrases and words and most of all, similar cultural values. With so much resemblance it is quite puzzling to an outsider as to what could have contributed to the ethnic conflict. The answers I would say is the lack of effective communication. Thus, it is essential to cultivate the necessary skills for good communication.

Narrowing the point, effective communication is very important to me. Why?

First of all, I am graduating this semester (talk about wrong timing with recession going on!). Thus, I need to be extra good in my communication skills. Hence, from preparing top resumes to handling interviews and then to managing the work environment, I should be at my best. As Roy mentioned this course is equipped to teach us the skills.

Next, this would also be my first time in a proper work environment. My previous experience was at an internship where I was still treated as a student. My mentors overlooked my mistakes and encouraged me when ever I was disheartened. However, in a real work environment I doubt I will get this much of support and help! Thus, like Keldren mentioned I want to achieve success!

Finally, I am an international student here in Singapore. My family is quite scattered (with my brothers abroad and my parents in Srilanka). Thus, my friends in NUS are my family. They share both good times and bad times. They would laugh with me, poke fun at me and cry with me when needed. But, truth be told we are all humans and prone to make mistakes, sometimes due to misunderstandings. So, I hope this course will also help me to resolve those conflicts and form new bonds.

edited 01/02/2009