Every girl needs a man to love her, cherish her and protect her.

As weird as it may sound, certain events that took place during the dawn of the new year has led me to agree with my parents.Ofcourse, not on all topics but, atleast on one thing, the above statement.

Before you start pointing out that we women need no man to love and protect us. Furthermore, go onto add to your arguement that we are grown-up, independent women who can take care of ourselves or a simple animal such as a faithful dog can do the very seem maybe true! But why should we start debating without probing further into the statement?

This man need not be a husband. (I am one of those who pale at the thought of marriage.) Why cant this man be a boyfriend (this interests me during valentines day and birthdays only), a best friend (whos a boy ofcourse), a brother or even a father? [Well this is my interpretation of my mom's statement] Ofcourse a brother and a father can play all the three roles. They can love you, cherish you and most of all protect you. I do agree while the three roles are played completely different by a husband or a lover yet the end result is still the same. However, to all the men who are gloating at this admission from a female, I do like to pin-point that I never said that men dont need women. Ofcourse they do but this is for another topic.

Let me go onto say what brought upon my agreement to my mom's above statement. At the age of 18 I left the loving and protective environment of my home for the prospects of widening my knowledge, securing a status in society, to experience new things and most of all, undoubtably independence. Let me not fool you into thinking my parents/ brothers locked me up in the house and was waiting for the opportunity to shackle me to some man in the name of marriage. No they trust me with enough freedom to enjoy myself and yet limited it enough to ensure I was brought up as a lady from any descent family.

Independence at the age of 18 meant to me forbidden late-night outings, parties (which to be honest I partook only at a later age), boyfriends. In short to do what I want. But now a few years later I realise theres more to it. While it has offered me a sense of pride for all the achievements, maturity and responsibility, it also offers the endless undeniably loneliness that I will admit only on very few nights such as today.

When you walk back home, you walk back to an empty household. There are no siblings to fight with or play with, no parents to cheer you up after a hard days work or even to be concerned for your safety when you walk in at such an un-godly hour in the night! Those who live among friends will agree that there are times even the bestest of friend maybe able to love you enough but not be able to protect you as much as you are able to protect her. Well, this blog isnt about independence but about the need for male companions, siblings or parent.

Do you ever wonder what you would do if the gentleman you met the other day at a party turned out to be a crazy stalker? Or the old drinks-stall uncle who can pass as your dad offer to be your "friend" and ask for your number? Or even the neighborhood construction worker grab your hand to demand that you tell him where you come from!

My Oral Presentation

From my point of view my performance was not at its best. Being a fourth year student I expected myself to have got over what people might call "stage fright". However, I realised when I stood up to present I did feel panicky even after practicing a couple of times beforehand. I am quite disappointed with this aspect of my presentation as I wanted to master the art of having a calm appearance during presentations.

I made a mental note before the presentation to have eye contact with all the listener's but during the presentation my mind was more focused on presenting smoothly that I realised I didn't give much attention to maintaining eye contact with all the listeners or to my posture. Towards the end I realised I was using hand gestures to put across certain points to the listener's. I am not sure if these hand gestures are appropriate for the presentation but I would have rather held them behind my back. Apart from these blunders my main concern was on the Q and A session. My group mates and I had agreed upon a strategy to decide who would be answering which question so as to avoid any confusion. However, during the session I hadn't followed this strategy at all and I fear that I might have not given a chance for my group mates to answer. I definitely do regret on this part.

Overall, I am aware my performance was not as I had compared it to be during rehersals however, I am happy as we all, both my team mates and I, had fun throughout entire process (which included shopping! :D).

Drum rolls... the Finale

Week 1 Class: 19/01/09

I am half an hour late for ES2007S class. My very first class in my final semester and I can already imagine the disappointed, judging look on my professor. There goes "first impression" down the drain.

I did have a reasonable excuse for being late (thanks to my first graded final year project presentation and having to take a 15 minute bus ride from Central Library to Science Faculty) however, it would still sound lame especially when a student is late for the first class.

I paused outside the door mentally preparing myself for the looks and reactions from my teacher and classmates when I walk in late. However, what I hadn't prepared for was what happened when I opened the door and stepped in.

"Come inside Priya" said the Professor. (Oh well something like that.)
This completely took me by surprise. It was the first time out of the four years in my whole undergraduate life that a Professor knew my name and on the very FIRST class and I thought to myself that I had already began to enjoy this class.

Week 13 Class: 13/04/09
Since the beginning to the very end this course has always had a very supportive and friendly atmosphere where both my teacher and classmates have helped me to improve myself as a whole.

Moving onto the blog post for this week, I believe that my first blog had missed the essential point of why effective communication is important to me. However, the revised version of my post includes an answer to this question. After reviewing this post now I believe that my understanding of effective communication has been further improved extending from understanding other people to being understood by other people. Additionally, I haven't given much focus to written based communication, that is, communication through letters, emails and expressing ones self through writings. I would also say that I have realised the importance of effective communication.

Overall, this module has definitely improved my communication skills and the knowledge of this has boosted my self confidence. For instance, the blogging activity has given me an opportunity to offer ways of resolving conflicts either in a hypothetical or real life situation. The in-class lesson on reading and explaining the article to Roy has taught me quite a few tricks of how to keep the listener's attention as well as it also has taught me that it is also equally the listener's responsibility to stay attentive to the speaker. Furthermore, the non verbal cues that I have picked up through out this course will help me in my daily conversations and interactions with other people, during presentations and even during interviews. Apart from the speaking and listening activities, the 7C's has also been equally important. It has enhanced my written skills enabling a better expression of my views through my writing. Most importantly the multicultural background of my class mates has made it possible to perceive certain things from their point of view.

Unlike the other courses I feel that the bond I have created among my classmates would not be a friendship that just lasts till the end of this semester but a friendship that will continue even after my graduation from NUS. The interviews conducted by fellow mates, the support and the feedback I gained for the weekly assignments, the tiring project and even the good luck messages for the upcoming presentation has brought me closer to my class mates.

Overall this course not only has equipped me with better communication skills it also has helped in my personal development.

I would definitely like to thank each of my class mates and Brad in this post but I would rather do them a favor by keeping it simple and short... THANK YOU!

edited April 14, 2009

Biodata

Name: Thevapriya
Nickname: Priya, Theva, Junks so on...
Born and Bred in: Colombo
Languages: English, Tamil
Reason to be in Singapore: Pursue higher studies
Education: Bachelor of Engineering (Bioengineering Honors) in National University of Singapore
Expected date of Graduation: May 2009

Ofcourse this is not a poorly written resume but a short introduction of myself.

Throughout the four years in NUS I have undergone self discovery and personal growth along with the growth in technical skills. For instance, being the only girl and the youngest in my family I have always been dependent on my parents and siblings to some extent. However, it is after NUS that I have learn't to take responsibility of many aspects including making decisions.

I can safely say that I am hardworking and open to learning new concepts. For instance, I took the risk of undertaking a final year project in Semi Conductors even though I had nil knowledge in this field. At the end of the project I realised that I enjoyed working in a new environment. Furthermore, from the guidance of my supervisor I also found myself interested in learning new concepts related to Semi Conductors, in particular MEMS, and even self learn the basics of LabView Programming.

In improving my technical skills I undertook an internship in Institute of Bioengineering and Nanotechnology. It is here that I gained hands-on experience in research in particular Stem cell research.In addition, I was able to extend my networks and interact with many highly qualified researchers. While, my career choice is in the field of designing and manufacturing medical instruments I do intend to keep my options open. Thus, I believe both my internship and my final year project would be helpful.

Moving on to personal growth I believe, that I have enhance my skills in leadership and communication. From the various positions, as the Project Head for freshmen orientation in the Srilankan committee to Marketing Head in the NUS Indian Dance, I have learnt to deal with difficult circumstances and lead a team of members of diverse backgrounds. For instance, I was the only non-Indian in the NUS Indian Executive committee. Even though it was intimidating at the very beginning I learn't how to overcome this and even form close friends with many of the members. This experience has enhanced my communication skills.

My interests extend from traveling to classical dance. To be more specific I discovered my interest in traveling only when I embarked on the student exchange program to Montreal. In the field of sports I was never a regular participant of a particular sport. Eventually, I did participate in the Cricket tournament within the Srilankan community and emerged as a Best Female Player.

Finally, my greatest achievements so far is funding for my own further studies and being a Co-author for a research paper published by my immediate supervisor.

Finally, I hope to keep challenging myself so that I will one day become a role model for the future generation.

Hurt

I would like to reflect on a personal experience to say why I think EFFECTIVE communication is essential.

Background:It is a general custom for me to "beg" my dad to be present when I receive awards during the annual prize giving. To an outsider it can seem that my father doesn't care much about his daughter. However, it is different between both of us.Regardless of whether I invite him or not, he would attend the ceremony. However, he likes the importance that I give him when I "beg" him to be present. Just to have abit of fun he would carry on making excuses and then act like he gives up and agrees to be there at the prize giving.

During the time of the incident my father had retired from his work. Thus he was no longer the main provider of the family's income.

Situation: It was the awarding ceremony for students to acknowledge their outstanding performance in extra curricular activities.(An event that was introduced in my final year in high school.)

Incident: : Briefly informing my mom that I was on ushering duty I had left for the awarding ceremony. (As I was one of the Prefects it was part of my responsibility to aid the teachers in making sure the event went smoothly.) When the event came to an end a bunch of friends of mine and I went for ice-cream. Finally, I went back home after 2 hours.

Skipping all the way up the stairs I bumped into my brother who had this you-are-so-going-to-be-in-trouble smile. Thanks to nonverbal communication, I sensed this and bugged him as to what was wrong.All he said was wait till you get inside.

So I stepped inside the main "hall" and I found my dad watching the TV with his back towards me. Nothing seemed wrong to me so I said "Hi dad!". He didn't turn towards at me at all.I went on to talk and he completely ignored me. I realized something was amiss here. This is because I'm usually the one who gives him the "silent" treatment when I'm mad at him. Hence, to be at the receiving end was disturbing. I sat next to him and placed my hand on his shoulder when he just shruged my hand off from his shoulder.
This really hurt me that I couldn't help but start crying. This reaction of mine set my dad off as he harshly said I was creating a scene for no reason.

Till then I had not seen my dad's face as he was still facing the TV. By then my mother had come into the "hall" and it was then I saw the hurt in my dad's eyes. It was a shock to see him so emotional and I still had no clue why. I was helpless but with my mother's help I realized why he was hurt.

Pre-incident:
When my dad had come home he realized that I was missing at home. He had asked my mother where I was and she had simply answered that I was away at the awarding ceremony. My brother had sensed later on that my dad was upset about something and resolved to think that me getting back home as the reason.

Why do you think my father reacted to the way he did? Do you think this is due to in effective communication?

edited 16/03/2009

The next day...

I had described the incident between J and S. SO, what did J and S do?

Well, S had emailed her regarding J's task. As soon as J read the email, she called up S and tried to argue at the end a compromise was made. J got fed up trying to avoid the task. Ultimately, she agreed to arrange for catering service but asked the Coordinators to deal with money matters. In the end, the task was completed without any complications.

A couple of weeks later J and S bumped into each other but they both exchanged a few formal words and parted in their own path. J and S were never best of buddies and now it seemed they were never going to be. However, they did maintain a very formal hi-bye whenever they met each other.

Intercultural behaviour

One of which I can remember very well is an incident that happened while i was on exchange.

Background: I was introduced to a guy S by my room mate. He appeared to be a very friendly person but a man of few words.

Incident: One day I was rushing to my next class which was on the other side of the town. To get there I had to take a shuttle bus. (Similar to taking the shuttle bus to Bukit Timah campus). It was then that I bumped into S. Since I was in a rush it took me a couple of seconds to recognize him. I smiled widely at him, but at the same time I wondered how I am to greet him.
A hug (common among my Srilankan friends), a formal handshake, a casual high five or a handshake along with cheek kisses (which is very common among Quebecois)?
Meanwhile, he had put his hand forward as a gesture for the Quebecois handshake but, I stood there wondering. This moment of pause resulted in awkwardness and before I can return the gesture he withdrew his hand in embarrassment.Soon the awkwardness passed as he introduced his nearby friend, then we exchanged a few kind words and finally I politely excused myself to leave. To prevent another moment of awkwardness he hastily brought his fist forward now as a good bye gesture known as "Fist bump". Returning this gesture I left the place.

Consequence: A few days later I met my room mate at a dinner and S had turned up as well. However, as I was seated far away I never got the chance to talk to him. But I did notice that he seemed quite distant, less friendly I would say. I smiled at him but his return smile looked like he had forced it upon his face for courtesy. I questioned myself as to why he would suddenly be hostile towards me. I kept thinking it over and over and I finally resolved to discussing with my room mate.

I mentioned this to my room mate after dinner and she exclaimed that he had mentioned something about my last meeting with him but, was unaware of the details.

What do you think went wrong? How do you think I should tackle this situation?

My interpretation
I believe that it was the greeting incident and in particular that moment of pause, had given S some negative feelings. He could have felt less respected esp when his greeting gesture wasn't returned. In addition, the fact that this incident happened infront of one of his friends could have made matters worse. His friend could have made fun of him and this could have escalated the negative feelings towards me.

I also believe that this incident rose due to the difference in our cultural background. In my home country after the first meeting no two people continue with formal gestures and when they become good friends the gesture shifts to friendly hug (between male and female or female and female).However, in Montreal it is a usual custom to greet each other in the Quebecois way.